Abstract
“Call Her Daddy”(CHD) is a podcast featuring two young women, Alex Cooper and Sophia Franklin, who discuss their dating and sexual experiences in New York City while also taking questions and topic suggestions from their fan base. The show which started in 2018, has covered topics from kinks to dating profiles to cheating and so much more but little if any of the advice given is healthy. In this paper, I will use feminist theory to investigate “CHD” as an artifact of decreased sexual education and increased internet access among Millennials and Gen Zers. Through this lens, I will investigate the power dynamic that exists between the hosts, the patriarchy, and the audience. “CHD” perpetuates the inequality between men and women, especially when the audience is uneducated on healthy sexual relations and relationships. The tactics used are subtle shows of internalized misogyny and an emphasis on heteronormative ideals dictated by the patriarchy.
Introduction
Scrolling through Instagram recently, I encountered a meme (Appendix I) that was a pie chart describing the creator’s view of sex education for Millennials. What is concerning about it is that only a small sliver of the pie represents formal sex education instruction; approximately ⅔ of the pie attributes Millennial sex education to the “Call Her Daddy” (CHD) podcast, and just under ⅓ to “Ass” by Big Sean. The former is the subject of this paper as an artifact of the lack of comprehensive sexual education in the US. The hosts, Sofia Franklin and Alexandra Cooper, are Millennials living in New York City. And as with most Millennials and Gen Zers, they have likely not received comprehensive sex education which would have included clinical information around puberty and sex as well as an understanding of contraception, consent, healthy relationships, the LGBTQ+ community, family planning, and pleasure. As a result, Franklin and Cooper rely on their own sexual experiences, stories from friends and listeners, and whatever the top search results have to offer — none of which are reliable, accurate or healthy options. This leaves their viewers with inadequate, misguided, and often harmful information. In this paper, I will investigate the effects of this information on the power dynamics within the “CHD” stakeholder community including their fans, also known as the “Daddy Gang,” the hosts themselves, and Barstool Sports as the patriarchal power over the show.
Cultural Context
“CHD” has been released on a weekly basis since mid-2018 on nearly every podcast platform. Over their short history thus far, they have drummed up a large following as evidenced by the podcast’s 1.1 million Instagram followers and in the large amount of merchandise they sell via Barstool. On most college campuses, you cannot get very far without seeing a “degrade me” sweatshirt or a t-shirt with the mugshot of host Sofia Franklin on the front. In fact, the show has become so popular that it has recently been nominated for iHeartRadio’s podcast awards, but not in the comedy or pop-culture category one would expect. Instead, the show is nominated for “Best Advice/Inspirational Podcast”, alongside Oprah Winfrey’s podcast and NPR’s “Life Kit” (2019). This nomination raises the question: are young people using “CHD” as a legitimate source of sex education? For the group of Millennials and Gen Zers who make up the shows following (also known as the “Daddy Gang”), their dependence on the podcast as a source of sex education information could be incredibly problematic to their development. Although other generations pushed the boundaries of sexual norms (such as “free love” in the 1960s), this group is one of the first to grow up with pre-marital sex and hook-up culture being the social norm (Guttmacher, 2019).
Despite this social norm, 39 states and DC currently require that abstinence is covered in sexual education (with 29 states requiring an emphasis on abstinence) (Guttmacher, 2019). And with an approximately 20% decline in rates of sexual education in the US since 1995 (Lindberg, 2016), it is not surprising that Millennials are more frequently turning to the internet to find information about sex. While this trend is not driving increases in the rates of pregnancies and STDs (Lindberg, 2016), it is less likely due to young people educating themselves online and more to do with increased innovation and accessibility to birth control.
Unfortunately, the “CHD” podcast is filling a gap in formal sexual education by taking on the role of online sex educator for its younger audiences. During each episode, Franklin and Cooper delve into sex tips and explanations of certain kinks, usually referencing first hand “research” they have done and opinions they’ve recorded from friends and romantic partners. While many listeners find the podcast content comically entertaining, listeners who use “CHD” as their sole or primary source of sexual information are being misguided and can run the risk of developing extremely unhealthy habits that can impact their relationships inside and outside the bedroom.
Literature Review
In her Ted Talk, Stephanie Boye discusses the implications of porn-based sexual education in lieu of formal in-school sex education, or sex-positive discussions with parents. Erectile dysfunction and increased sexual violence are just a few of the effects Boye lists that result from porn-based sex ed. As Boye goes on to discuss, teens who do not have a formal sex education program or the ability to talk to their parents/guardians often turn to the internet, in particular, porn and forums. A study published in the Journal of Adolescent Health supported Boye’s theory with data saying that 55% of 7th to 12th graders have turned to the internet for health information (Lindberg, 2016). In her article in Sex Roles titled Feminist Ideals for a Healthy Female Adolescent Sexuality: A Critique, Sharon Lamb also discusses how sex ed should not only be increased, but also reworked to educate students that women are not always passive in sex and can seek pleasure from sex (2009). When women are not primed to seek pleasure from sex as Lamb advises, they may seek advice or direction from internet forums such as porn, blogs, or podcasts such as “CHD” which is largely unproductive at best.
Lamb also makes the argument that women seen as empowered in pornified culture are not truly empowered because they are being enabled by a patriarchal system that rewards them based on how hot or sexy they are (Lamb, 2009). Boye echoes this sentiment in her Ted Talk when discussing how porn actors are often manipulated into going past their comfort zone in order to get paid (Boye, 2019).
Analysis
While the target audience for “CHD” is women in their early 20s, the reality is that the show also attracts teenage girls. The hosts acknowledge this often. In fact, in one episode Cooper says “high schoolers turn this off” (Cooper & Franklin, 2018). However, despite discouraging the younger viewers, they’ve also made episodes that cater to them, such as “52 College Life: Being Hot vs. Not”, during which the hosts give advice to incoming college freshmen girls on how to have a “good” sex life, regardless of how “hot” they are. In this episode, Franklin and Cooper set the expectation for these young women and that depends on how they fit into the patriarchal beauty standard on their campus. Franklin and Cooper provide the parameters for how often they should have sex in the first semester: “if you are a super hot girl and you fuck around the first semester people are going to be like ‘oh yeah she’s hot, but she’s such a slut’. Butif you are not a hot girl, you are below a 7, then fuck a little” (Cooper & Franklin, 2019). By using the “she’s a 10” rating system created by men to assess women’s physical attributes and then correlating that number to a sexual expectation or behavior, this segment shifts the balance of power towards the men on campus. Cooper and Franklin are telling their listeners to either have sex or not based on how hot the men on campus think they are, which basically allows the men on a given campus to decide a woman’s sex life.
The advice given on episode 52 episode which was made for some of their youngest viewers encourages women to reap rewards from what Sharon Lamb described in her article in Sex Roles as a patriarchal reward system — one that emphasizes the “pornified-empowered girl” (301). Using porn as a basis for the way women should think about their sexuality perpetuates the patriarchy reward system. And with the absence of a well-rounded sex education programs in schools, young women are particuarly vulnerable to this obfuscation s during a time that is typically full of sexual experimentation and exploration. This can be problematic for young people –especially women who are often seen as passive actors in sex (Lamb, 2009).
The proudest “Daddy Gang” also takes on the “pornified-empowered girl” in real life and on their social media platforms by posing in their “degrade me” thongs or risque “Call Her Daddy” bathing suits and crop tops. They do this to garner attention so they can be featured on the podcast’s Instagram page and gain affirmation from the hosts, who in this scenario stand-in for the patriarchy by rewarding these women for having and showing off bodies that fit the patriarchal standard of beauty.
So what attracts so many young people, in particular women, to a show that spends so much time making jokes about sexuality, many of which are at the expense of women? For young people growing up without the benefit of formal sex ed programs, podcasts like “CHD” can feel more educational and safe than learning from other sources of sexual dialogue, such as porn and anonymous online forums. With just about half of states requiring sex education in public school,most with the stipulation that abstinence is stressed (Guttmacher, 2019), it is not surprising that young people are turning to other sources of education to learn aboutsexual pleasure for themselves and their partners. Currently, “CHD” is using a popular social media format in an attempt to fill an educational gap that Victoria Beltran and Shannon Lamb argue should be covered by inclusive sexual education in schools including programs that explore topics such as masturbation, self-esteem, use of toys and lube, and consent — not just a clinical overview of the body (2016). For example, in episode 42 “Let Him Watch Porn”, the hosts discuss watching porn and address the common question from women: “my boyfriend is watching porn, should I be offended?” or “Is it cheating if my boyfriend watches porn?”. The host responds in a mocking way: “that’s fine if you don’t want him to watch porn, he will just end up cumming inside a 2-cent hooker …. when he’s so sexually frustrated” (Franklin, “Call Her Daddy”). One of the problems with this clip is that it takes a highly personal, sensitive question and turns it around on the person who asked it to invoke shame on them for asking it. People should be educated early to not feel ashamed of their sexuality, and to take control of it. In fact, young people in the examples Beltran employs from the Netherlands and Germany start sexual education in kindergarten during which they learn how to express love and enjoy healthy relationships. In these societies, children are encouraged to talk openly about sex outside of a clinical framework, giving them the tools to address questions like the one presented in episode 42, without relying on ill-conceived advice straight from forums like “CHD”. While young people who have experienced comprehensive sex education might still listen to podcasts like “CHD”, they are likely able to filter it through a different lens (comedy, pop culture) than those educated by the internet and porn – thus lessening the impact such mis-infomation and power dynamics can have on one’s self esteem and sexual health. The show also features weekly sex tips or “moves” including how to give oral sex, new sex positions, or a kink they have encountered or that was sent in through question submissions from listeners. In episode 57, Cooper discusses a recent sexual encounter during which she experimented with bondage, and in telling the story gave listeners a less intimidating way to explore bondage with sweatshirts. Since in the US sexual pleasure is not included in sex education, many young people go to porn to explore kink. Stephanie Boyd describes the problem with this in her TedTalk; in porn, kinks tend to be pushed to the extreme, which for young people who haven’t had comprehensive sex education can cause increased violence and erectile dysfunction (Boyd, 2019). While the story Cooper tells provides an approachable way to explore bondage, it is also presented in the context of comedy, and much of that comedy centers around the idea that the only thing women have to offer a man in a relationship is sex, and that women have to go to the extreme to get the man that society expects them to have.
Many of the other kinks “CHD” features are similar to the concepts highlighted in an article published in Sexuality & Culture about the practice of age play in sexual encounters. One is featured directly in the artifact’s title which the article references as “Being Little” – referring to how couples often play with power dynamics distributed throughout the encounter. In the title of “CHD”, the “Femme Daddy” is employed (Tiidenberg, 2018) to emphasize Franklin and Cooper’s power. By taking on the “Femme Daddy” persona they use they take the power that in passive heterosexual interaction would be entirely the male’s and using that to assert themselves as experts on the topic of sex and dating.
The same article in Sexuality & Culture describes another type of “littleing” as shame and humiliation. “CHD” often glorifies the act of degrading or having little to no self respect. In fact, CHD capitalizes on their self-degrading behavior and others’ degradation of themselves by selling merchandise that says phrases like “I am unwell” and “degrade me.” The tone and content of “CHD” reinforces the patriarchy reward system and legitimizes the porn culture of denigrating women in the name of helping young people understand sex. Its listeners can be entertained or influenced — the latter is a very dangerous proposition.
Conclusion
While Franklin and Cooper set out to put on a comical performance in their podcast, their dialogue is not properly decoded by many listeners who take it as legitimate advice and act on it without the proper education. This, in turn, further shifts power towards men instead of having power shared equally between genders. The tactics employed to accomplish this include the elevation of patriarchal beauty ideals which Franklin and Cooper claim determines a woman’s sex life once they reach college. The result is a generation of women with increased internalized misogyny that presents itself in the rise of the “Daddy Gang”, whose members thrive on posting risque photos and videos and on wearing “CHD” merchandise from which they gain gratification by being featured on the “CHD” Instagram or Twitter for the male gaze.
Appendices
Appendix I
Heidrich, Ty. Millenial Sex Edqucation. Via Instagram.